The Absolutely Farrelly Ten Kick Ass Commandments
1. MARK BOURIS – THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
I ran The Celebrity Apprentice with Mark Bouris, the most charming, funny, smart, uber intelligent, kind man on the planet. I mentioned that one of the Celebrities was setting themselves up as the leader on the show & he said this – ‘There are no leaders, just people other people want to follow.’ Isn’t that profound? Would you follow you? Think about it.
2. MEL B – THE X FACTOR
I‘ve worked in TV for a thousand years but I could count my celebrity pals on one hand & have a few fingers free to flip the bird at passing van drivers. I did two series of The X Factor with Mel B and I’ve rarely met someone so wonderfully comfortable in their own skin. Mel doesn’t think she is smarter, more beautiful or talented than anyone else and she also doesn’t think she is worse. I asked her how she has the confidence to disagree with two thousand people when they love a performer and she doesn’t, she simply said this – ‘I say what I think.’
Mel B is the best version of Mel B there is – she is pure Mel B. Be you – as the saying goes, Be you, everyone else is taken.
3. MY BESTIE TERESA
My bestie Teresa is the most confident person I know and this is her secret – Teresa walks into every room behaving like she is the most beautiful, successful, sexiest woman in the room – like she’s come to buy it.
Bestie Teresa and I both know she isn’t the most beautiful etc, but that doesn’t matter – she acts like she is, she thinks she is and her opinion is the only opinion that really matters.
You can walk into the room like you’ve come to clean it or come to buy it – be Teresa.
4. MICHAEL VOSS – THE RECRUIT
Michael Voss is an AFL legend for good reason – super smart, driven, kind and an insanely great guy. He’s worked with so many teams and players that his head is bursting with motivational wisdom.
One morning, half way through The Recruit, when everyone was feeling the slump, Vossy said something like this – ‘All it takes in life to be better than everyone else is just 1% – train 1% harder, get up 1% earlier, eat 1% healthier, be 1% more engaged. I can’t be there when you wake up and don’t want to get out of bed to train. I can’t be there when you reach for that extra beer. Only you are. Use your 1%.’
Vossy is bloody right of course – do 1% more than everyone else & quite simply, you’re ahead.
5. DAVID HASSELHOFF – THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
Have you heard of David Hasselhoff? Of course you have. He’s one of the most famous people on earth but answer this – why? Has he been on TV recently, in a film, written a book, gotten married, changed gender? No.
You know David Hasselhoff because David Hasselhoff knows David Hasselhoff. He has created the brand Hasselhoff and works it every single moment of every single day. I did The Celebrity Apprentice with him and I can tell you this – David Hasselhoff is David Hasselhoff full time, he never deviates. He’s smart, funny, driven and on message 24 hours a day. What is your Hasselhoff?
6. RYAN FITZGERALD – BIG BROTHER
Yes, Fitzy is king of the airwaves but remember him from Big Brother? Fitzy was a retired AFL player when he applied, cute looking, funny, warm & he told us this – ‘I’m a big boofy bloke who plays AFL & I’m one of the boys, but I cry. A lot, all the time’.
I never saw Fitzy cry on BB and haven’t seen him cry since, but it worked – he had a headline – he was different, he was the hot, crying AFL player.
There’s a reason Fitzy is one of the most successful people in the country – he understands it’s not just good to be different and have a headline, it’s bloody essential.
7. LA POOL PARTY – MARY J BLIGE
I found Mary J Blige scary. Until I met her on LA Pool Party, a show I was producing for the BBC in LA. Then I loved her. We were sitting by the pool, chewing the fat and I asked her this – ‘What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you’ & she said this – ’I was moaning about my career and Chaka Khan told me this – ‘Mary, get out of your own way.’’
Whatever success looks like to you I promise you this – the only person standing between you and success is you – get out of your own way.
8. JAMES BROWN – THE BIG BREAKFAST
James Brown looks like James Brown. No one else looks like James Brown – larger than life, the Godfather of Soul. I interviewed him on The Big Breakfast & asked him if he had any pre-performance rituals and he told me this – ‘I have a mirror by every stage and before I go on stage I look in the mirror and ask this – ‘Would I pay good money to come and see this man?’ If the answer is yes, I go on stage.’
Do you look like you own the stage? If not, up your game, Godfather yourself up.
9. DICKO – CAN OF WORMS
I didn’t make Can of Worms but my fabulous, funny, incredibly clever pal Dicko did. He worked on the development of it with some equally smart TV folk and decided to pitch it to the network differently.
They could go in & explain how it worked or they could play it with the Network Execs and SHOW them how it worked. I wasn’t in the room, but Dicko was and this is what he told me – they go into the room and ask this question – ‘Is it racist to say Black Men have bigger willies than everyone else?’
Can of Worms was commissioned in one sentence.
Think differently – I repeat – think differently.
10. MARION FARRELLY – ABSOLUTELY FARRELLY
I have interviewed more than 10,000 people and let me tell you this – the first three seconds you meet someone are the most important three seconds of your entire relationship – why – because we make snap judgements about each other in those three seconds – we had to – fight or flight – is that hairy mammoth my lunch or looking at me like I’m lunch?
Your first three seconds in every situation are what I call your prime real estate – use them. 3 seconds, that’s all.
About your guest blogger: Marion (Nurture Change Australia 2017 Guest Expert Speaker): If you’ve watched it, Maz probably made it – she’s a passionate communicator who has worked some of the world’s biggest brands in Australia, UK and LA. She has won a myriad of awards including British BAFTAs, National Television Awards, Royal Television Society Awards, TV Quick Awards, a Bronze Rose de Montreux, an Australian Logie and ASTRA. Maz is an expert in Entertainment and Reality TV and was a regular panelist with host Tom Ballard on Reality Check, ABC Australia.
For more info about Nurture Change Australia 2017, visit www.nurturechange.com.au