Are you successful but something is missing?

Do you feel a little vacant at times? Like you are not really there?

Your partner, says, “Didn’t you hear what I just said?” and you end up in an argument.

Your work team complains behind your back that you never listen, and you wonder why they seem to be dragging their heels and are not as successful as you would like them to be (you don’t even know this is happening).

Have you ever driven a long way, arrived at your destination and then you did not remember driving there? Oops, very dangerous!

daydreaming2Yes, many of us spend so much time thinking, that even when we need to be highly aware of our physical environment we can tune out and be literally, ‘out of our bodies’.

Perhaps you have not noticed this in yourself, but you have in others. You know when some-one is ‘pretending’ to be listening to you, but they are not really, their eyes are glazed over, like they are not really there. Often we just stop talking, we can sense the person is not listening. Unless you are so dis-connected you don’t even notice the other person is not listening to you and you keep talking anyway.

Ever realised you are doing that yourself?

How many times do you have conversations with people and your head is full of other things happening, your body may be standing in the room next to some-body, but your mind is a million miles away.

You child is tugging at your dress or shirt, and you just don’t notice them until they are screaming at you.blond_girl_about

There are many reasons why this happens.

It is not a successful place to be.

In the western world there is much that pulls us out of our body and our physical sensory dimension into an abstract, conceptual, thinking dimension. It is almost as if we have come to believe we are too ‘sophisticated’ for physical, sensory bodily experiences, except of course those that seduce us into feeling good, like drinking red wine and eating chocolate!

So, what is going on?      What happens when we are ‘out of body’?

  • others sense we are not present, others feel dis-connected from us, others feel something, but they are not sure what it is • we feel some version of empty, lonely, unhappy, exhausted, driven, we can never be filled up, but we don’t know what is driving us to feel that way
  • you may end up in an argument or have a dis-agreement with some-one as you have not really been present
  • you are not as successful as you would like to be, you may talk about being a collaborator but you end up being controlling
  • you may talk about being open and non-defensive and in reality you are closed and defensive 

and you do not notice or realise your blind spots! There is a disconnect:

    • between what you think and what you say
    • between what you think and what you feel
    • between what you say and what you do

The consequence of this is usually, making choices that are not what we want, or not what our body and soul want. The choice is more likely to come from what we think something else wants.

And that snowballs. How many choices are you making daily? Zillions of little choices all day long. Are they leading you towards being
present to feeling safe, content, fulfilled right now?


when you are dis-connected and doing what you ‘think’ you should be doing, it is likely you are ‘thinking’ about the future, you never seem to get there, you get more and more anxious about not being there and more anxious that you don’t feel good as you do not even know what you feel.

Sounds a bit bleak, doesn’t it? But guess what, most people are used to this and think this is the norm. No, it is not. There is so much more to being human, than thinking.

We are blessed with an amazing physical, sensory body and senses, that when we tune in provides rich and insightful experiences
minute by minute of our lives.

We are blessed with an amazing energetic/spiritual awareness that when we tune in provides rich and insightful experiences minute by minute of our lives.

We have dis-connected mind – body – soul.
Time to re-connect!

One of the simplest things to get connected, to your body/spirit, and into the current experience with yourself and WITH the person who is with you is to…



Breathe, drop into your body, feel your feet on the ground, touch your skin, see what is right in front of you, colours, textures, tastes, smell, so you feel you are present.

Try it, daily, regularly.



As you breathe, start to feel present to yourself deep within your body. Feel in your body. You are not your body, but your body is a
sacred house for your soul. You are not your mind, but your body is a sacred house for your thoughts. You are not your soul, but your body is a sacred house for your spirit.

We are much, much, much more than these separate things.

Breathe into yourself deeply, connect deeply to your sensory body, your energetic body and your thoughts.



Yes, move. Our bodies are made for moving. When we were young we rolled, twisted, stretched, swung, pushed, hung, pulled and much more. As adults we use less and less variety in our movements. The energy and emotional responses within our bodies need to be expelled, to be moved out. Practice exploring and connecting to your body, moving out energy that is stuck, emptying through moving in different ways than your habitual norm.

Lastly, in this brief blog…


Our voices become stilted as we become adults as well. When we were young we babbled, we made sounds, we sang. Then as adults we started to become stilted with our voice range.

When you start to explore your voice you will be able to notice when your voice is coming from deep within your body, from a connected place and when your voice is coming from a dis-connected place that is dis-connected from your body or connected to negative, fear based emotions.

When your voice is dis-connected, it is likely to be coming from higher in your chest, be higher pitched and more erratic. When talking from this place in your body, often people do not listen to you and you do not appear as credible, you are dis-believed.

Others notice the incongruence between your voice and what you are saying.


Yes, a playful approach to your life will allow you to inquire, be open, test out what works for you and what doesn’t in ways that are energising. It does not have to be hard work. There is nothing wrong with you or me. We can literally play our way into increased awareness.

We can play our way into being more successful, more connected, and have more freedom and resilience than we could have ever imagined.

There is so much in the world pulling us away from our sensory and energetic experience, is it any wonder there is so much confusion, anxiety and happiness.

Breathe, and play with movement and voice to re-connect your whole body/spirit with your thoughts, feelings and energy and see what you start discovering about your self. Be curious and notice both other people and yourself.

Play and enjoy your body it is a sacred, playful, amazing home for your soul.

Deb Lange
Deb Lange, Intuitive Body Wisdom Expert, Award Winning Mentor, woman of courage and resilience, who is a trailblazer and sage for people who want to have the clarity and freedom to act from their deepest most loving intentions for life. Deb guides people to access the wisdom from their body/spirit playfully and become their own Guru